Why I Love Elderly Patients

There's nothing quite as endearing as a five foot, five inch man in his eighties. Especially when he sweet talks the staff with the following:

"You're a dirty fucking jew!" to Senior Female Technologist.

"I'll kick your ass!" to Large Breasted Nurse.

"I'll get both my nephews to kick all your asses!" to the same nurse, who wanted to know, "Do your nephews beat up women often?", with response of "You're not a woman, you're a half-man". Not the top half, I'm sure of that.

"Help, I'm being kidnapped!" to various people in the hallway.

"I'll sue all of you, and you won't get a damn penny from your soybeans!" to Fed Up Male Nurse on the floor.

I received some especially charming words after pinning his bony butt to the guerney after his attempt to punch Large Breasted Nurse. He was mad that she wouldn't stand still long enough for him to connect with his foot to her head. Thus, the staff received a display of rapid geriatric roping courtesy of me. And that was the high point of the day.

We're #1!

As is right and proper.

Yay for us.

Ugly Gun Sunday

I guess I can compliment them on actually bothering to remove the metal (most of it) before hitting it with the cans of spray paint.

It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Their Head Cut Off

It's clear to me now that if you really want the liberal media to respect your beliefs, all you need to do is riot and issue death threats (also known as fatwas) over anything that offends you.

Good luck, Berkeley. You've probably just become the Salman Rushdie of the Sunday funnies:

Note to Opus readers: The Opus strips for August 26 and September 2 have been withheld from publication by a large number of client newspapers across the country, including Opus' host paper The Washington Post. The strips may be viewed in a large format on their respective dates at Salon.com.

(h/t Ace of Spades )

Where's My Salad Suit?

I need to motivate my ass off the couch to go up to the attic to dig out a set of BDUs for my first drill weekend in over a year. The thing is, for wearing camouflage, I'll really stand out. While BDUs are still authorized, I haven't seen anyone in the Iowa Guard wear them in over a year, as they're all in ACUs.

I'll be spending most of my time hanging out in an ambulance in case someone has an oops with their rifle or pistol. Circumstances permitting, I may weasel my way into a pistol competition slot if there's any open. Nothing says you can't pull medical support and shoot on the same day.

Got the gutters down from the porch after putting up the new posts. With the gutters down, I'm stripping the fascia down to bare wood. Two layers of turd brown paint over "have a nice day" yellow, over primer. Heat guns are slow, but a lot nicer than breathing a constant cloud of atomized paint particles ejected by a belt sander.

What's a real pain in the ass is pulling on a loose piece of fascia and having come out with with an explosion of damp wood bits. And clearing that out and finding a structural 2x4 with serious rot behind the first rotten board. The porch project just got a lot longer.

The Weather Gods Hate Me.......

I have a nice new batch of cast bullet .303 for my P-14 that I loaded up last night, and I was planning on chronographing them. Until the light rapidly diminished in five minutes while I was in my living room. So, while I reconsidered loading up all the gear, it started coming down so hard and fast that we suddenly had a river running in front of our house. Another shooting session shot to hell and gone.