Friday, July 4, 2008


I just came back from supper, which happened to be grilled brats over at a friend's barracks. If you have a choice between our mess hall and anything else, anything else will usually win. Until now. I will not, under any circumstances, even on fish head soup night, go over there if Inbred Contractor Guy is present. Because I could only tolerate this once:

You only get hangovers because America doesn't have European purity laws for its beers;

You'll never be willing to eat American beef products once you've had European beef;

The Irish need to stop holding up the European Union, and the peace and prosperity that will flow forth once it is achieved;

All Serbs all evil bloodthirsty monsters;

All Albanians are troublemakers responsible for most of the problems in Europe;

Gun control is a foregone conclusion, so I should get rid of everything I own;

Since deer don't shoot back, no civilians should have scary rifles;

The Pope is a closet Nazi;

All Catholics are closet Nazis, and responsible for all of Europe's problems;

All European governments are secretly controlled by the Vatican;

The Catholic church is actually a degenerate form of the Roman Jupiter worshipping cult.

At which point I excused myself, as kicking someone in the balls seems to invariably lead to trouble, no matter how much good it would do the gene pool.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, he will use his larger paycheck as a gauge for intelligence and consider you a hopelessly benighted heathen. No doubt he puts on his gas mask when airliners fly overhead to protect himself from the chemtrails.

Oh well, at least he's gainfully employed outside of the USA.