Thursday, May 21, 2009

I'm Not OCD.....I'm Just Dedicated



After the wife has had to steam-clean an area of our living room at least three times, plus paying a professional service enough money to buy some nice boxes of premium pistol ammo, I had to practice serious restraint not to strangle at least one dog tonight, having been left a steaming gift behind the couch tonight. While I was in the house, and the dog door was open for use. Funny, the dogs didn't have any problem finding the dog door a few seconds after I found that steaming pile of turd.

But, being the benificent tyrant of house canids that I am, I refrained from going out in the yard and converting the one I'm pretty sure did it (how, you may ask, out of three dogs, could I know? A lot of time in the yard with a scoop, that's how) into a some kind of leather product. Instead, I merely converted an old webcam into a dog poop surveillance system behind my couch.

Truly, I am a genius...or a freak, depending if you go by The Wife's expression upon seeing my accomplishment. At least now, through the power of B.F. Skinner's behavioral principles, I'll know which dog to brainwash until I get this:

4 comments:

Bob said...

just put a few unbaited mousetraps (snap trap kind) behind the couch for instant negative reinforcement.

MauserMedic said...

Bob,

Interesting idea; the only concern is one of the smaller dogs getting any broken toes. Maybe if I can weaken the spring a little bit so it's not quite as much impact.....

Anonymous said...

A Bark Collar is a safe, effective and humane way to train your dog not to bark too much.
Clinical studies conducted by the College of Veterinary medicine of Cornell University have proven that Spray Bark Collars are TWICE as effective as shock collars! Sonic dog barking collars are virtually ineffective compared to spray.

MauserMedic said...

Anon,

unfortunately, it's the other end that's the concern; so in this case, I guess we would need rectal shock rod. Sadly, I'm guessing I could probably find something like that, although it's probably geared towards people rather than dogs.....