Senator John McCain urges air strikes on Syria.
Yes, that will serve our national interests. Because we all know that the insurgents there are freedom-loving, tolerant, pro-feminist, religiously diverse patriots who just want to enjoy the benefits of democracy. Like Afghanistan.
And of course, Syria is just a third-world primitive nation. It's not as though there's anyone supporting their military with current technology anti-aircraft missiles and guidance systems. Like Russia.
And even if some of our aircrews were shot down, I'm sure they would have nothing to fear, as Syria is populated with people who both love Americans and are deeply committed to high standards of conduct in handling prisoners.
We needn't worry prisoners might be transferred somewhere out of reach, for years at a time, in horrible conditions while being abused. Because that doesn't happen to pilots in undeclared wars.
And best of all, if we do this, we know we'll gain respect and love from the Muslim world. Because there's nothing they appreciate more than a helping hand from the American military.
Here's my plan: let the Islamists and Fascists kill each other. Because there is no good outcome for the US. None. Both sides hate us, but would gladly use us to defeat their opponents. And then rapidly turn on us once their gains were consolidated.
Perhaps when they're done, it will take them a few decades before they can threaten their neighbors again.